Brian Austin Green, Mena Suvari, Scut Farkus! (Zack Ward), and seven of their friends head up to a remote mountain lodge for a relaxing weekend.  The inn, which should be full of guests, sits lifeless and it seems as if everyone left in a hurry.  The gang find half-eaten breakfasts and a woman’s purse left in the empty dining room.  As the group of friends try to find out what happened to the local population, a funny thing happens.  People go missing.  Then the people who look for them go missing.  Soon ten becomes nine…eight…seven…  You get the picture.  As you might expect, those who are left go a bit nutty.  One girl goes full Mist-Marcia Gay Harden and Scut Farkus, who makes the most sense throughout the early part of the film, totally loses his shit.  That part was fun to watch.

SCUUUUUUUUUT!!!!!

Writer/director Travis Oates spends a lot of time watching the cast argue and it’s more gossipy than ghoulish.  People pose and make statements a lot and no one has a clue.

“Who’s stumped?”

Scut, the only character to offer a proactive plan, gets voted down because these buttheads would rather hang out in the nice hotel than go for help, arm themselves, or DO anything.  We don’t get a lot of backstory on these characters and except for Scut, I didn’t care what happened to them.  Tattooed Brian Austin 90210 becomes the de facto leader based entirely on his strategy of talking softly and not doing much else.  The plot-driven script has characters acting counter to their own personalities just so 90210 can calm them down and take charge, then do nothing.  It’s a real party.

I was waiting for an M. Night Shyamalan twist or a weird Whedony ending.  No such luck.  The end of DON’T BLINK is just as unsatisfying as the beginning and the middle.  Big yawn.

“Don’t look at me.”